Today marks two full months here in Kyrgyzstan. There have been many ups, and very few downs. Which suits me just fine.
I absolutly love it here. I love the friends I've made, english speaking or not, I love playing Phase Ten and swapping cards with Natasha under the table, I love making ridiculous ammunts of tea for our very thirsty students, watching old episodes of Buffy to help people learn english, getting emails from friends, living with Jim and Melissa and a houseful of kids, I love beating Jim at Nyardi (which I do), I love whatever Melissa makes to eat, and Rachel (who feeds me well), I love the Greenhouse and the creativity it is inspiring and how people are changing, I love being sarcastic with Tiffany and having Pasha pretend to vbe mad because it's his wife, when really he wantrs to laugh cause its funny. I love that you put your dirty toilet paper in a basket next to the toilet, I love the odious ammounts of garlic in all the food, or all the really strong apple juice that I drink with the kids, or making cilbasa and cheese omlettes at midnight, I love not having electric for hours on end, I love that Melissa mightn't want to read this because it looks like a giant paragraph...I love that Jim calls me Toby to annoy me, or that the Hamburger stand exploded in the middle of the street and two days later there was a new one, I love riding marshutkas and accidentally getting off to early because i don't know where I am...or listening to my iPod in the internet cafe while typing something similar to this...
To sum up. I love it.
God is really teaching me a lot of valuable lessons. The value of friendship and having people walk through life with you. The way that God loves us, and how Gods' love is in us. Repentance over old stupid things that I have done. Taking risks and trusting people, being open and vunerable. MIssing family and friends ( I usually don't). Most importantly, I am learning that I like my life, I enjoy giving it to Gd and letting him control, it beats making my own mistakes thats for sure.
Be blessed and praying,
Till all have heard,
Tony.
Dé Céadaoin, Deireadh Fómhair 22, 2008
Dé Máirt, Meán Fómhair 30, 2008
September in KG
We are now in our second week of the GH being open. There have been a lot of cool things happening, as far as just meeting with my leaders and team mates here, having fellowship, reading the bible together, and most importantly, doing the ministry I was called here to do.
I have been teaching drama at the GH as a way to help the students open up, relax, have fun and discover some of their talents. Our theme for this season is inspire. We are hoping to inspire people to find out who they are, who God made them to be, and I feel like this is happening to me also!
Drama club has been going well, we had our first lesson and a bunch of people showed up, and we just screamed, made noises and acted like animals to loosen things up.
Another club that I am a part of with Melissa and Pasha is a ‘Making the Band’ club. We are going to be putting together a band, writing a song, playing the instruments, making a music video and recording the song as well! It is something that has really been catching peoples’ attention! Melissa, Pasha and I taught our first week on Saturday and had so much fun! The students were really into it. We took modern songs and changed them into different styles, starting with happy birthday. We thought that Melissa, pasha and I should go first to show them its ok to be silly and have fun. Melissa did a punk rock version, Pasha did a rap, and I got stuck with a Marilyn Monroe version of happy birthday! We then did Umbrella by Rihanna, which we actually have on video, so maybe I can upload it and you can watch!
One word that Jim and Melissa shared with me was ‘pursue peace’, so that’s what I’ve been doing, and God has really been showing up. I have just had times of joy when I have no reason to be joyful, and moments of God showing up while I’m lying in bed listening to music. I am finding that God is really grabbing my attention here, and I feel at last, like I am home.
I will be the first person to admit that my Christian journey has been tumultuous, and I’m sure my friends would agree. I have hurt people, and been hurt, but I have been moving out in forgiveness, asking God to reveal things to me and I have been repenting for things I didn’t even know I had to repent for!
But it is all for the good, and God is doing a lot.
I am truly blessed by my leaders, Jim and Melissa, and developing a great relationship with them and their three kids. I live with them, so I see them everyday, and they are encouraging, loving, and very including and supportive of my ideas.
I wish I could be in touch more, but I only have dial up Internet, and not enough money to keep going to internet cafes!
There have been lots of students coming to the GH. The first few days were small, but nice enough that I could get a good idea of what would be going on. More and more have been coming though, and a group of Russian teenagers have been coming, sportsmen (wrestlers and swimmers) and one of them is going to be in the 2012 Olympics! God has really opened my heart for them, and already I begin to feel Gods’ prompting to be spending more time with them. The good thing is that they like me too, so it will be easier. The one barrier is that they don’t speak any English, and my Russian is not so fantastic, despite picking up the essentials.
My Russian lessons have been going well, I get taught by my friend Masha, and she has been helping me with grammar and the basics.
There are lots of opportunities here, and it seems like lots of ministries are recruiting, and I feel like everywhere I go people try to get me to do things, so I’ve been practicing saying no! I am here in this time for the GH, and to explore some other avenues too. I should be going out to villages with my friend Jenish in the near future when I get my schedule worked out, working with orphans and homeless too. While back in Belfast I shared my heart for orphanage ministry, which I haven’t had the opportunity to really explore yet, but that is because I am taking my commitment to the GH seriously and not flopping around between ministries. At first it was daunting, I wasn’t sure exactly what my involvement would be a I wanted to kind of ‘do my own thing.’ However, it has been fantastic working with Jim and Melissa, and the students in the GH who come to learn and hopefully learn more than what we teach on the surface. We are there to practice Gods’ love, to just love on them and show them that they matter.
Bishkek is a great city. They have this little vans that people take everywhere (public transport) called Marshutkas. They cost 8 som (the currency here) a ride, which is about 9p/18c! There are always lots of people around, and people selling different things on the street, from food, to old Soviet Union things. It is a dusty place, but there are nice parks here too! Most living accommodation is apartments, and families live together. I have been learning to get around, mostly by foot, so I’ve been doing a lot of walking, probably at least a few miles everyday, which is a nice little bit of exercise! But I am quickly putting holes in my shoes, haha! I am also in desperate need of getting some winter clothes – the heat has died off and its back to weather I am more familiar with! Rain, cold and wind! The other night I was out at my friends and the rain came on, and I was wearing flip flops, after walking home I was drenched due to stepping in many holes in the ground disguised under the puddles in the dark. We continue to loose our electricity for hours on end at different times in the week. So I have gotten used to life without electric and make the most of it when we do have it!
Overall, it has been a fantastic month and a bit. It is my birthday in a few weeks, and my rent is due soon as well, and I don’t have much money! Which is a typical story for me, but nice, because I get to depend on God!
Thanks so much for your support and prayer and I will be in touch with people individually as much as possible.
Please email me if you have any questions about what I am doing here, or just if you want to catch up and chat. I miss you all, and hopefully we’ll speak soon!
Your friend and brother,
Tony Webster.
I have been teaching drama at the GH as a way to help the students open up, relax, have fun and discover some of their talents. Our theme for this season is inspire. We are hoping to inspire people to find out who they are, who God made them to be, and I feel like this is happening to me also!
Drama club has been going well, we had our first lesson and a bunch of people showed up, and we just screamed, made noises and acted like animals to loosen things up.
Another club that I am a part of with Melissa and Pasha is a ‘Making the Band’ club. We are going to be putting together a band, writing a song, playing the instruments, making a music video and recording the song as well! It is something that has really been catching peoples’ attention! Melissa, Pasha and I taught our first week on Saturday and had so much fun! The students were really into it. We took modern songs and changed them into different styles, starting with happy birthday. We thought that Melissa, pasha and I should go first to show them its ok to be silly and have fun. Melissa did a punk rock version, Pasha did a rap, and I got stuck with a Marilyn Monroe version of happy birthday! We then did Umbrella by Rihanna, which we actually have on video, so maybe I can upload it and you can watch!
One word that Jim and Melissa shared with me was ‘pursue peace’, so that’s what I’ve been doing, and God has really been showing up. I have just had times of joy when I have no reason to be joyful, and moments of God showing up while I’m lying in bed listening to music. I am finding that God is really grabbing my attention here, and I feel at last, like I am home.
I will be the first person to admit that my Christian journey has been tumultuous, and I’m sure my friends would agree. I have hurt people, and been hurt, but I have been moving out in forgiveness, asking God to reveal things to me and I have been repenting for things I didn’t even know I had to repent for!
But it is all for the good, and God is doing a lot.
I am truly blessed by my leaders, Jim and Melissa, and developing a great relationship with them and their three kids. I live with them, so I see them everyday, and they are encouraging, loving, and very including and supportive of my ideas.
I wish I could be in touch more, but I only have dial up Internet, and not enough money to keep going to internet cafes!
There have been lots of students coming to the GH. The first few days were small, but nice enough that I could get a good idea of what would be going on. More and more have been coming though, and a group of Russian teenagers have been coming, sportsmen (wrestlers and swimmers) and one of them is going to be in the 2012 Olympics! God has really opened my heart for them, and already I begin to feel Gods’ prompting to be spending more time with them. The good thing is that they like me too, so it will be easier. The one barrier is that they don’t speak any English, and my Russian is not so fantastic, despite picking up the essentials.
My Russian lessons have been going well, I get taught by my friend Masha, and she has been helping me with grammar and the basics.
There are lots of opportunities here, and it seems like lots of ministries are recruiting, and I feel like everywhere I go people try to get me to do things, so I’ve been practicing saying no! I am here in this time for the GH, and to explore some other avenues too. I should be going out to villages with my friend Jenish in the near future when I get my schedule worked out, working with orphans and homeless too. While back in Belfast I shared my heart for orphanage ministry, which I haven’t had the opportunity to really explore yet, but that is because I am taking my commitment to the GH seriously and not flopping around between ministries. At first it was daunting, I wasn’t sure exactly what my involvement would be a I wanted to kind of ‘do my own thing.’ However, it has been fantastic working with Jim and Melissa, and the students in the GH who come to learn and hopefully learn more than what we teach on the surface. We are there to practice Gods’ love, to just love on them and show them that they matter.
Bishkek is a great city. They have this little vans that people take everywhere (public transport) called Marshutkas. They cost 8 som (the currency here) a ride, which is about 9p/18c! There are always lots of people around, and people selling different things on the street, from food, to old Soviet Union things. It is a dusty place, but there are nice parks here too! Most living accommodation is apartments, and families live together. I have been learning to get around, mostly by foot, so I’ve been doing a lot of walking, probably at least a few miles everyday, which is a nice little bit of exercise! But I am quickly putting holes in my shoes, haha! I am also in desperate need of getting some winter clothes – the heat has died off and its back to weather I am more familiar with! Rain, cold and wind! The other night I was out at my friends and the rain came on, and I was wearing flip flops, after walking home I was drenched due to stepping in many holes in the ground disguised under the puddles in the dark. We continue to loose our electricity for hours on end at different times in the week. So I have gotten used to life without electric and make the most of it when we do have it!
Overall, it has been a fantastic month and a bit. It is my birthday in a few weeks, and my rent is due soon as well, and I don’t have much money! Which is a typical story for me, but nice, because I get to depend on God!
Thanks so much for your support and prayer and I will be in touch with people individually as much as possible.
Please email me if you have any questions about what I am doing here, or just if you want to catch up and chat. I miss you all, and hopefully we’ll speak soon!
Your friend and brother,
Tony Webster.
Dé Luain, Meán Fómhair 08, 2008
Here it is folks!
Hey there everyone!
Surely by now you've recieved some sort of news about me in Kyrgyzstan, if not you can read my last blog on www.tonywebster.blogspot.com and it will fill you in!
I am emailing to thank people so much for your continued support, and know that you all individually mean so much to me!
All the ways you've helped, prayer, finances etc. God has been so good!
Well, I am emailing to ask if anyone who supported me would like to do that on a monthly basis?
Now being out in the field full time, and not being able to work, I have to raise all my own money! Right now, my rent is about $100 a month (which is so good, I am renting a room from a family rather than having to find my own place, which saves me a few hundred dollars! and there are other little logistics like FOOD, TRANSPORT,COMMUNICATION etc) all in all, i think about 300-400dollars a month right now, and thats on the high end.
Could you pray and ask G* if supporting me monthly is something you'd like to do? Perhaps you've been thinking about giving to missions, or contributing to missions in your church or something, well here is a good chance!
The ministry I am working with is a student centre where we build relationships, teach clubs (music english art, media etc whatever our giftings are) and just nuruture the students identities and natural giftings in order to utilise them best for the kingdom. I will also be able to branch out in my time here, getting to orphanages, homeless shelters, rehab clinics, getting to see a lot.
Could you please get back to me and let me know how you can help, perhaps you've already given, so theres no pressure, just pray! You can give as little as you want! If everyone gave a few dollars/pounds/whatever your currency, that would be an amazing start eh?
Well get back to me and let me know! There are many ways you can give, cheque, transfer money online etc. It's easy peasy! Just let me know!
Surely by now you've recieved some sort of news about me in Kyrgyzstan, if not you can read my last blog on www.tonywebster.blogspot.com and it will fill you in!
I am emailing to thank people so much for your continued support, and know that you all individually mean so much to me!
All the ways you've helped, prayer, finances etc. God has been so good!
Well, I am emailing to ask if anyone who supported me would like to do that on a monthly basis?
Now being out in the field full time, and not being able to work, I have to raise all my own money! Right now, my rent is about $100 a month (which is so good, I am renting a room from a family rather than having to find my own place, which saves me a few hundred dollars! and there are other little logistics like FOOD, TRANSPORT,COMMUNICATION etc) all in all, i think about 300-400dollars a month right now, and thats on the high end.
Could you pray and ask G* if supporting me monthly is something you'd like to do? Perhaps you've been thinking about giving to missions, or contributing to missions in your church or something, well here is a good chance!
The ministry I am working with is a student centre where we build relationships, teach clubs (music english art, media etc whatever our giftings are) and just nuruture the students identities and natural giftings in order to utilise them best for the kingdom. I will also be able to branch out in my time here, getting to orphanages, homeless shelters, rehab clinics, getting to see a lot.
Could you please get back to me and let me know how you can help, perhaps you've already given, so theres no pressure, just pray! You can give as little as you want! If everyone gave a few dollars/pounds/whatever your currency, that would be an amazing start eh?
Well get back to me and let me know! There are many ways you can give, cheque, transfer money online etc. It's easy peasy! Just let me know!
Dé Luain, Meán Fómhair 01, 2008
What do you see?
It has now been over one week since I got to Kyrgyzstan.
My fingers ache at the joints from all the writing I've been doing. For those of you who do follow my adventures, you will be pleased to know there is a new book in the offing. I have got a nice new computer to write on, and I've got inspiration from this wonderful culture, so why not put it all to good use. I have already wrote my first 30 pages. This book is about a young man, growing and changing, adapting to new culture. Sounds like someone I know right?
Well, every day here brings something new. Just two days ago a local business erupted into flames before my eyes, the electric box popped and fizzled, and a families livlihood was destroyed before my very eyes. The flames grew higher and higher, licking the trees above with its bright red and orange tongue. Had they caught fire who knew how long it would have been until the entire corner turned shades of burnt orange. Thanks to the fast acting Kyrgyz fire men, in their dull red trucks, almost pink, the reds and oranges became a dark and dull cloud of smoke that rested in the air just above the business. Although today it had been replaced and it looks ready to open again. Not so much loss of the livlihood then. Who would have thought one business would have been so easy to replace.
Walking around Kyrgyzstan I notice several things. People stare at me. I would like to think it's because they see something in me, maybe Jesus, when really I know all they are seeing is the mohawk towering above my head (I trimmed it for the wedding) and the small silver balls that adorn my lower lip. Who is this foreigner? And why does he have holes in his face? Simple questions really. I am hoping that looking the way I do will open doors. God gimme this face for a reason right?
The other thing I notice is how no matter how hard I try, I am not satisfied with the ammount of God I experience. I am getting so hungry, so thirsty for more. I can't seem to keep my fingers from flipping through the bible, scrolling out my favourite verses, the words bubbling in my throat until I spill them out. My desire to share is spilling out. I got to share a little bit with a few people I ahve come across. A lady from the bank on the phone, a student in the streets, other 'workers' here that can't believe I am here.
I am surprised that people are surprised that I came here myself, that I wasn't made to, that I don't have much money, just faith and an expectation to see God do his work in this marvellous country.
It is Kyrgyzstan's time. Keep an eye out.
My fingers ache at the joints from all the writing I've been doing. For those of you who do follow my adventures, you will be pleased to know there is a new book in the offing. I have got a nice new computer to write on, and I've got inspiration from this wonderful culture, so why not put it all to good use. I have already wrote my first 30 pages. This book is about a young man, growing and changing, adapting to new culture. Sounds like someone I know right?
Well, every day here brings something new. Just two days ago a local business erupted into flames before my eyes, the electric box popped and fizzled, and a families livlihood was destroyed before my very eyes. The flames grew higher and higher, licking the trees above with its bright red and orange tongue. Had they caught fire who knew how long it would have been until the entire corner turned shades of burnt orange. Thanks to the fast acting Kyrgyz fire men, in their dull red trucks, almost pink, the reds and oranges became a dark and dull cloud of smoke that rested in the air just above the business. Although today it had been replaced and it looks ready to open again. Not so much loss of the livlihood then. Who would have thought one business would have been so easy to replace.
Walking around Kyrgyzstan I notice several things. People stare at me. I would like to think it's because they see something in me, maybe Jesus, when really I know all they are seeing is the mohawk towering above my head (I trimmed it for the wedding) and the small silver balls that adorn my lower lip. Who is this foreigner? And why does he have holes in his face? Simple questions really. I am hoping that looking the way I do will open doors. God gimme this face for a reason right?
The other thing I notice is how no matter how hard I try, I am not satisfied with the ammount of God I experience. I am getting so hungry, so thirsty for more. I can't seem to keep my fingers from flipping through the bible, scrolling out my favourite verses, the words bubbling in my throat until I spill them out. My desire to share is spilling out. I got to share a little bit with a few people I ahve come across. A lady from the bank on the phone, a student in the streets, other 'workers' here that can't believe I am here.
I am surprised that people are surprised that I came here myself, that I wasn't made to, that I don't have much money, just faith and an expectation to see God do his work in this marvellous country.
It is Kyrgyzstan's time. Keep an eye out.
Dé hAoine, Lúnasa 08, 2008
4 minutes...
Hey everybody!
Since arriving back in the states, my mind has somewhat been a blur. I feel like I've had a lot of time, but on the other hand, I feel totally engrossed in the little things that are taking up my day. Small things, little chores and helping out seems to take a lot of time, and I find myself with only 2 weeks until Kyrgyzstan, and I am not sure I am prepared at all. I don't really know how to be prepared. I've been staying with a great family close to the base, and have been able to spend time at the base and come and go as I please...its really nice to see all my friends, and even have some serving oppertunities.
I have been going through a variety of different things as God continues to whittle me down. My heart just wants to be good, to be salt and light, and of course in order to do that, I need to have no compromise. I know that I have been. Not bad things, but even just in my thoughts and mainly in my reactions to things. My initial reaction to bad news is not one of prayer, but usually stress, or frustration, or anger. I never seem to quite hit the mark on how God would have me respond.
However, with that said, my heart is really in a place of just desperation. Of needing so much more than i have, of wanting to know my God more intimatly that ever, and really to grow and develop. God has done something huge in my life and given me guys to pray with. You all know how easily I get on with girls, but God has just saw my needs as his son, and gave me some fantastic brothers to be with.
I have never before had people stand by me in this way, and just have me covered. This is God showing me how mcuh he cares for me. It is insane, but fantastic. I'm sorry for my lack of fancy updates, that comes with the territory of selling my computer for missions. Wow, I can't believe it's only 2 weeks away! I have so much to pray through, things God is healing me of in my heart, a mind transformation, I'm learning to be okay, I just want more, more, more.
I recently had someone speak a great prophetic word over me, and I feel like from that moment, Satan has just been doing whatever he can to steal that from me. Well, I am not gonna let him have it, it's my birthright,my inheritance, and I am claiming it! Please just continue to pray for strength with me, as for every truth I am being hit with 10 lies. Someone asked me, well, how do you deal with that?
My simple little niave answer was 'I cling to the truth.' It made me question myself. HOW do i cling to the truth? I need to be in prayer, in the word, and serving. I need to be the man of God that he has called me, I need to arm myself with the belt of truth, sword of truth etc. I need to continually be reading that, I need to continually have Jesus in me. Theres nothing Tony can do. Satan is more powerful than me, but hes not more powerful than the God that lives inside me.
Last night I looked into my eyes, and I seemed void. ALmost lifeless. It was pretty upsetting. Where did my fire go? Where did my jesus go? I got upset and realised, that I had replaced him with other things. He never left me, I forced him out. Today I have been inviting him back in. I literally got on my face to the floor, and just prayed for him to come. I then had some great fellowship with my brother Carl, we made this horribly fantastic lunch with Angel Delight dessert...and watched an episode of Buffy. For those of you who know me from before I was a Christian, you'll know how important Buffy used to be to me! haha! It was so nice to watch and episode with someone! I always used to watch it with my sister Amanda, alot. Probably almost every night.
I miss my sisters. I miss my parents. I miss my friends. I miss Fiona and Javed, Noreen and Jaclyn, all my church friends, Gillian, Carly, the old drama crew. All my YWAM-ers who've left, Dihanna, Leah, Eivind, Eliza, Molly, Kyah, Than and Christy, Susie Palmer, Katrina and Tim (WHo just got married!)...so many people. There's lots of people I know I'll see again when I get back in Spring for School Of Worship, Karisse, all my friends on base.
i'm just in this season of being stripped of all comfort, and of course its not nice, but I think very necessary. God is working in me because he has plans, he has a word, he has a birthright for me to walk in. I can't wait.
On a super amaing note, I almost have all my Kyrgyzstan money! I can't wait to get out there, to serve, to help, to be obedient to whatever God has got in mind for me. My heart is just to pursue him right now. no-one else. Just him. I have a few logistical things I need to account for, such as accomodation, and money for food and stuff. In all I probably need around $500+. But I am trusting in the Lord, he's already provided so much right? if you've got a heart to help send missionaries out into the field and can contribute financially, let me know! And thanks SO MUCH to the people who've already gave! God rewards faithfulness with faithfulness, and you have contributed to the kingdom!
So If you are one of the people who pledged money but havent sent it yet, the time is coming and would be really cool if you could do that! You can just mail it to me here at the base, or you can do a paypal thing. But i can cash checks so do what you need to do! You can write me at 11 Osborne St, Lake View Terrace, CA, 91342 USA.
Well, I'll also be in touch in the next few days as there are some more amazing things in the pipeline that i yet have to pray about and get direction, so I dont just wanna throw all my options out and have bad integrity..i need to pray Thanks so much friends and family for helping in whatever you have...I love you all!
Please get back to me and let me know how YOU are doing. I am not just saying that cause this is a big mass email, it goes to the people I love and WANT to hear from. So please, write me back.
If you've received an email from me and don't want to continue recieving updates, please let me know and I can remove you from the list!
So much love and blessing.
Tony.
Since arriving back in the states, my mind has somewhat been a blur. I feel like I've had a lot of time, but on the other hand, I feel totally engrossed in the little things that are taking up my day. Small things, little chores and helping out seems to take a lot of time, and I find myself with only 2 weeks until Kyrgyzstan, and I am not sure I am prepared at all. I don't really know how to be prepared. I've been staying with a great family close to the base, and have been able to spend time at the base and come and go as I please...its really nice to see all my friends, and even have some serving oppertunities.
I have been going through a variety of different things as God continues to whittle me down. My heart just wants to be good, to be salt and light, and of course in order to do that, I need to have no compromise. I know that I have been. Not bad things, but even just in my thoughts and mainly in my reactions to things. My initial reaction to bad news is not one of prayer, but usually stress, or frustration, or anger. I never seem to quite hit the mark on how God would have me respond.
However, with that said, my heart is really in a place of just desperation. Of needing so much more than i have, of wanting to know my God more intimatly that ever, and really to grow and develop. God has done something huge in my life and given me guys to pray with. You all know how easily I get on with girls, but God has just saw my needs as his son, and gave me some fantastic brothers to be with.
I have never before had people stand by me in this way, and just have me covered. This is God showing me how mcuh he cares for me. It is insane, but fantastic. I'm sorry for my lack of fancy updates, that comes with the territory of selling my computer for missions. Wow, I can't believe it's only 2 weeks away! I have so much to pray through, things God is healing me of in my heart, a mind transformation, I'm learning to be okay, I just want more, more, more.
I recently had someone speak a great prophetic word over me, and I feel like from that moment, Satan has just been doing whatever he can to steal that from me. Well, I am not gonna let him have it, it's my birthright,my inheritance, and I am claiming it! Please just continue to pray for strength with me, as for every truth I am being hit with 10 lies. Someone asked me, well, how do you deal with that?
My simple little niave answer was 'I cling to the truth.' It made me question myself. HOW do i cling to the truth? I need to be in prayer, in the word, and serving. I need to be the man of God that he has called me, I need to arm myself with the belt of truth, sword of truth etc. I need to continually be reading that, I need to continually have Jesus in me. Theres nothing Tony can do. Satan is more powerful than me, but hes not more powerful than the God that lives inside me.
Last night I looked into my eyes, and I seemed void. ALmost lifeless. It was pretty upsetting. Where did my fire go? Where did my jesus go? I got upset and realised, that I had replaced him with other things. He never left me, I forced him out. Today I have been inviting him back in. I literally got on my face to the floor, and just prayed for him to come. I then had some great fellowship with my brother Carl, we made this horribly fantastic lunch with Angel Delight dessert...and watched an episode of Buffy. For those of you who know me from before I was a Christian, you'll know how important Buffy used to be to me! haha! It was so nice to watch and episode with someone! I always used to watch it with my sister Amanda, alot. Probably almost every night.
I miss my sisters. I miss my parents. I miss my friends. I miss Fiona and Javed, Noreen and Jaclyn, all my church friends, Gillian, Carly, the old drama crew. All my YWAM-ers who've left, Dihanna, Leah, Eivind, Eliza, Molly, Kyah, Than and Christy, Susie Palmer, Katrina and Tim (WHo just got married!)...so many people. There's lots of people I know I'll see again when I get back in Spring for School Of Worship, Karisse, all my friends on base.
i'm just in this season of being stripped of all comfort, and of course its not nice, but I think very necessary. God is working in me because he has plans, he has a word, he has a birthright for me to walk in. I can't wait.
On a super amaing note, I almost have all my Kyrgyzstan money! I can't wait to get out there, to serve, to help, to be obedient to whatever God has got in mind for me. My heart is just to pursue him right now. no-one else. Just him. I have a few logistical things I need to account for, such as accomodation, and money for food and stuff. In all I probably need around $500+. But I am trusting in the Lord, he's already provided so much right? if you've got a heart to help send missionaries out into the field and can contribute financially, let me know! And thanks SO MUCH to the people who've already gave! God rewards faithfulness with faithfulness, and you have contributed to the kingdom!
So If you are one of the people who pledged money but havent sent it yet, the time is coming and would be really cool if you could do that! You can just mail it to me here at the base, or you can do a paypal thing. But i can cash checks so do what you need to do! You can write me at 11 Osborne St, Lake View Terrace, CA, 91342 USA.
Well, I'll also be in touch in the next few days as there are some more amazing things in the pipeline that i yet have to pray about and get direction, so I dont just wanna throw all my options out and have bad integrity..i need to pray Thanks so much friends and family for helping in whatever you have...I love you all!
Please get back to me and let me know how YOU are doing. I am not just saying that cause this is a big mass email, it goes to the people I love and WANT to hear from. So please, write me back.
If you've received an email from me and don't want to continue recieving updates, please let me know and I can remove you from the list!
So much love and blessing.
Tony.
Dé Céadaoin, Iúil 09, 2008
An Irish Update..
Well since arriving back in Ireland 17 days ago, things have been rather crazily busy but rather crazily annointed also. While on the plane, I decided that in order to fully trust God about what he was doing as far as crazily raising money (notice the overuse of crazily) I realised that all my dependance needed to be on him, and him alone, so I thought...what's the best way to do that?
Fasting. (ohhhh yeah)
Now those of you who know me will know that I love a good fast! 14 days in Egypt,and 9 days in L.A with my friend Than, and a few days here and there in between. God had to help me raise about $2500 within the next few weeks to pay off my flight home and my mission trip to Kyrgyzstan.
So on arriving home and greeting my parents at the airport, I wasn't sure how I felt. In all honesty, I already didn't want to be there, but I know that God has clearly told me to come home,so I know there was something for me here. Whether I'd see it or not. My fast had begun and I explained to my parents...my mum's reaction was that of, 'Oh, well we bought loads of food for you coming home...you can't even eat a little bit?..Will God really care if you just eat a little bit?' It was funny. But ok, because I can't expect everyone to understand. I had medical lecture upon lecture. Electrolyte balances and what not. Crazy.
But I knew I was doing what God wanted me to, and I began to pray instead of eating. Heaven opened, and God began pouring things out into my life, word after word of knowledge and encouragement.
And I am gonna take you through some things he has done.
On the fun side though, I've reclaimed my post as Charlottes favourite babysitter! :) Yay! And I have hung out with my friends, watched good movies, listened to good music, shopped in the rain, walk around Belfast, taken lots of pictures, hung out with my nephews and sister, and got paid for preaching at a church! And still to come...the big Belfast bonfire night, the marches and parades, a good old fashioned knees up (my knees will be down, as I havnt been eating I can't risk drinking!) and seeing my little sister as she visits from England with her boyfriend and I meet him for the first time. I got to hang out with my 'chara gaelige' (irish friend) Noirin and Theo (the baby!)...and putting Charlotte and Theo together was rediculously cute.
So in fasting...(everyday I was praying for finances and the SOW/MA staff)
Day 1. God gave me visions and verses for Kyrgyzstan, and planted some fundraising ideas in my head.
Day 2. I recieved $400, God revealed things about who I am in him and spoke major words about Kyrgyzstan. God gave me the word to move forward on the SOW for the fall.
Day 3. The Spiritual Warfare began. God told me t pray my dry bones would stir. God reminded me to 'ask and i'll give the nations to you.' So I asked for Kyrgyzstan.
Day 4. My computer sold for $400. God told me that he'd already taken care of the finances! :)
Day 5. God began to teach me of what it meant for me to be his son. God spoke to me about knowing the truth of the plans he's spoken into my life.
Day 6. God gave me more verses for Kyrgyzstan. God gave me Psalm 4 for me. God broke my 'depression'of being home.
Day 7. Reminded the money is taken care of. More words for Kyrgyzstan. Broke my worrying spirit. God told me the sweetest thing, in the quietest way - 'I just want to spend time with you.' God told me to put him on the throne and to take me off!
Day 8. God gave me words for SOW/MA staff. God told me to pray for a big release of finances.
Day 9 and 10. Two people wrote me cheques. One was $250 and the other I've yet to receive. I got asked to preach (and get paid for it.) I prayed that God would expose my heart issues.
Prayed for wisdom, God gave me direction and lots of words for Kyrgyzstan.
Day 11 and 12. Preaching went phenomonal. My mum cried. Lots more money! God asked to pray for MORE.
Day 13 and 14. After praying I got some word of some monthly supporters.
Day 15. After the usual, God revealed to me the truth over some of my insecurities and set them right.
Day 16. After praying, I received more money, or pledges.
Day 17. Madness. I heard today I am almost ready to book my flight.
How great is our God?
Fasting. (ohhhh yeah)
Now those of you who know me will know that I love a good fast! 14 days in Egypt,and 9 days in L.A with my friend Than, and a few days here and there in between. God had to help me raise about $2500 within the next few weeks to pay off my flight home and my mission trip to Kyrgyzstan.
So on arriving home and greeting my parents at the airport, I wasn't sure how I felt. In all honesty, I already didn't want to be there, but I know that God has clearly told me to come home,so I know there was something for me here. Whether I'd see it or not. My fast had begun and I explained to my parents...my mum's reaction was that of, 'Oh, well we bought loads of food for you coming home...you can't even eat a little bit?..Will God really care if you just eat a little bit?' It was funny. But ok, because I can't expect everyone to understand. I had medical lecture upon lecture. Electrolyte balances and what not. Crazy.
But I knew I was doing what God wanted me to, and I began to pray instead of eating. Heaven opened, and God began pouring things out into my life, word after word of knowledge and encouragement.
And I am gonna take you through some things he has done.
On the fun side though, I've reclaimed my post as Charlottes favourite babysitter! :) Yay! And I have hung out with my friends, watched good movies, listened to good music, shopped in the rain, walk around Belfast, taken lots of pictures, hung out with my nephews and sister, and got paid for preaching at a church! And still to come...the big Belfast bonfire night, the marches and parades, a good old fashioned knees up (my knees will be down, as I havnt been eating I can't risk drinking!) and seeing my little sister as she visits from England with her boyfriend and I meet him for the first time. I got to hang out with my 'chara gaelige' (irish friend) Noirin and Theo (the baby!)...and putting Charlotte and Theo together was rediculously cute.
So in fasting...(everyday I was praying for finances and the SOW/MA staff)
Day 1. God gave me visions and verses for Kyrgyzstan, and planted some fundraising ideas in my head.
Day 2. I recieved $400, God revealed things about who I am in him and spoke major words about Kyrgyzstan. God gave me the word to move forward on the SOW for the fall.
Day 3. The Spiritual Warfare began. God told me t pray my dry bones would stir. God reminded me to 'ask and i'll give the nations to you.' So I asked for Kyrgyzstan.
Day 4. My computer sold for $400. God told me that he'd already taken care of the finances! :)
Day 5. God began to teach me of what it meant for me to be his son. God spoke to me about knowing the truth of the plans he's spoken into my life.
Day 6. God gave me more verses for Kyrgyzstan. God gave me Psalm 4 for me. God broke my 'depression'of being home.
Day 7. Reminded the money is taken care of. More words for Kyrgyzstan. Broke my worrying spirit. God told me the sweetest thing, in the quietest way - 'I just want to spend time with you.' God told me to put him on the throne and to take me off!
Day 8. God gave me words for SOW/MA staff. God told me to pray for a big release of finances.
Day 9 and 10. Two people wrote me cheques. One was $250 and the other I've yet to receive. I got asked to preach (and get paid for it.) I prayed that God would expose my heart issues.
Prayed for wisdom, God gave me direction and lots of words for Kyrgyzstan.
Day 11 and 12. Preaching went phenomonal. My mum cried. Lots more money! God asked to pray for MORE.
Day 13 and 14. After praying I got some word of some monthly supporters.
Day 15. After the usual, God revealed to me the truth over some of my insecurities and set them right.
Day 16. After praying, I received more money, or pledges.
Day 17. Madness. I heard today I am almost ready to book my flight.
How great is our God?
Dé Domhnaigh, Meitheamh 22, 2008
Tony's future...
Hey all!
Great and exciting news comes to those who wait!
Well, the last few days have seen amazing things happen. God just really speak about direction, encouragment spoken to me, dealing with inner things I've needed healing for, doing some fun creative work with the Mission Adventures crew out here in L.A and most importantly, just having a blast discovering who I am as a son of God.
Well, Tuesday 24th June, I will be back in Northern Ireland for 3 weeks to visit family and friends, as my sister is coming over from ENgland for a few days, so I definitly wanted to pursue a trip home.
There was a big part of me that was torn up. I wanted to stay in California to work with my church, but I wanted to go home to ireland...but there was not a part of me that was peaceful. About anything. I even asked God to give me dreams, and I had two in one night, one was at home, one was here in California.
Then last night after seeking God with a friend I was praying with, and after reaching a place of desperation for God to speak, he finally dropped something into my head. Both.
How could I do both?
Well, when I found out that my sister was going to be home, and our family could all be together for a few weeks, I knew straight away what to do. God also give me specifics on coming back to California for July-August. I don't know exactly where and what, I have my ideas, and people are praying but I felt so strongly that I was to be here for that part of the summer...and then after that is the exciting part.
Since being here on the YWAM base, I have really connected, in such a God way, with a guy called Tony, who has been a missionary in Kyrgyzstan for the last 5 years, and just recently finished School Of Worship here at the YWAM base. It was something so God annointed, and appointed, that when we prayed together, God just showed up, and did things, as we found ourselves in 5 hours long conversations until 3 in the morning most nights!
After hearing him share about Kyrgyzstan, and the culture and people, I had this little jump in my heart. He shared about disabled orphans (something God gave me a heart for while in Egypt) and one thin he constantly reminded me as I sought direction was 'remember where God has led you'...more specifically, what God has already spoken into my life. Which reminded me of DTS and one night I had this dream that I was in this village, walking through, on a mountain and there was a yak pulling a cart...
..after praying into this, and obviously having spoke to people (Pete and Kizzy at the time) I am excited to say that I will be going to Krygyzstan at the end of August on a 'scouting' type trip. I will get to do some practical work, serving Tony and the people there as Tony makes a transition to come back to the US, and getting to see the orphan ministry and just love on some kids...as well as really pray into the possibility of why God brought Tony and I together, ministry wise, as well as friendship wise.
Everything has just been so God appointed...and that's so exciting!
God also confirmed this in a time of seeking confirmation too. Tony has this clear picture and image for God, and I got a random bible verse, which was spot on, especially after praying that God would give me scriptural support.
All in all, its an exciting time, God is giving me back my heart for missions, a real passion and desire to serve where possible, and a passion to see my family.
But let me tell you it hasn't been an easy place to get to, and I am excited to see what God does as I enter the next few months of personal outreach.
Again, this is all something that is self funded and I just want to go do Gods work and help advance the kingdom!
The costs for things like these can sometimes be high, but God has really blessed me so far, and I know will continue to as I step out in obedience.
My flight to Ireland and back to California is part paid but i still need about $800 to cover the cost, and my trip to Kyrgyzstan is going to cost around $2500 to $3000 dollars.
Those are my needs and I believe in what God has spoken, and have absolute faith that God will provide. So I want to ask you directly if you would partner with me in my endeavours to follow where God has led, and know that when you can financially support, it is not just me, but the Kingdom you are investing into. I am excited to get to be God's hands and feet and only you can help make that possible!
The smallest donations can make the biggest difference, and even from $1 they all make a difference. I am excited to partner with you and I will call you soon to follow up! So please let God do something amazing and be part of this amazing adventure over the next few months!
I would ask that you would respond, even if it is to say that you can't support me right now, please let me know!
God's blessings!
Tony.
Great and exciting news comes to those who wait!
Well, the last few days have seen amazing things happen. God just really speak about direction, encouragment spoken to me, dealing with inner things I've needed healing for, doing some fun creative work with the Mission Adventures crew out here in L.A and most importantly, just having a blast discovering who I am as a son of God.
Well, Tuesday 24th June, I will be back in Northern Ireland for 3 weeks to visit family and friends, as my sister is coming over from ENgland for a few days, so I definitly wanted to pursue a trip home.
There was a big part of me that was torn up. I wanted to stay in California to work with my church, but I wanted to go home to ireland...but there was not a part of me that was peaceful. About anything. I even asked God to give me dreams, and I had two in one night, one was at home, one was here in California.
Then last night after seeking God with a friend I was praying with, and after reaching a place of desperation for God to speak, he finally dropped something into my head. Both.
How could I do both?
Well, when I found out that my sister was going to be home, and our family could all be together for a few weeks, I knew straight away what to do. God also give me specifics on coming back to California for July-August. I don't know exactly where and what, I have my ideas, and people are praying but I felt so strongly that I was to be here for that part of the summer...and then after that is the exciting part.
Since being here on the YWAM base, I have really connected, in such a God way, with a guy called Tony, who has been a missionary in Kyrgyzstan for the last 5 years, and just recently finished School Of Worship here at the YWAM base. It was something so God annointed, and appointed, that when we prayed together, God just showed up, and did things, as we found ourselves in 5 hours long conversations until 3 in the morning most nights!
After hearing him share about Kyrgyzstan, and the culture and people, I had this little jump in my heart. He shared about disabled orphans (something God gave me a heart for while in Egypt) and one thin he constantly reminded me as I sought direction was 'remember where God has led you'...more specifically, what God has already spoken into my life. Which reminded me of DTS and one night I had this dream that I was in this village, walking through, on a mountain and there was a yak pulling a cart...
..after praying into this, and obviously having spoke to people (Pete and Kizzy at the time) I am excited to say that I will be going to Krygyzstan at the end of August on a 'scouting' type trip. I will get to do some practical work, serving Tony and the people there as Tony makes a transition to come back to the US, and getting to see the orphan ministry and just love on some kids...as well as really pray into the possibility of why God brought Tony and I together, ministry wise, as well as friendship wise.
Everything has just been so God appointed...and that's so exciting!
God also confirmed this in a time of seeking confirmation too. Tony has this clear picture and image for God, and I got a random bible verse, which was spot on, especially after praying that God would give me scriptural support.
All in all, its an exciting time, God is giving me back my heart for missions, a real passion and desire to serve where possible, and a passion to see my family.
But let me tell you it hasn't been an easy place to get to, and I am excited to see what God does as I enter the next few months of personal outreach.
Again, this is all something that is self funded and I just want to go do Gods work and help advance the kingdom!
The costs for things like these can sometimes be high, but God has really blessed me so far, and I know will continue to as I step out in obedience.
My flight to Ireland and back to California is part paid but i still need about $800 to cover the cost, and my trip to Kyrgyzstan is going to cost around $2500 to $3000 dollars.
Those are my needs and I believe in what God has spoken, and have absolute faith that God will provide. So I want to ask you directly if you would partner with me in my endeavours to follow where God has led, and know that when you can financially support, it is not just me, but the Kingdom you are investing into. I am excited to get to be God's hands and feet and only you can help make that possible!
The smallest donations can make the biggest difference, and even from $1 they all make a difference. I am excited to partner with you and I will call you soon to follow up! So please let God do something amazing and be part of this amazing adventure over the next few months!
I would ask that you would respond, even if it is to say that you can't support me right now, please let me know!
God's blessings!
Tony.
Dé Luain, Meitheamh 16, 2008
A long weekend.
This weekend was a weekend of many new things.
A new marriage. A new makeup expirement. And a new hairstyle, created by moi for one of my friends. Why should you care? Because. You just should.
So, I'm hoping lots more people are reading this now that I am linked on both Karisse and Kristal's blogspot pages...so here begin yee ole madness blog.
Eivind came and went. Saddness abound.
I got to hang out with my friend Holly from ComedySportz...she rocketh.
Brandon and Leslie finally tied the knot, which was an exciting wedding to be at. For real. The first time i met Leslie was over the phone...in the summer of 2006 at a chilli burger fast food place. Good times. All of their families were here and it was alot of fun having all the people around the base...like old times.
There was dancing, and grooving, and cheesecake - and I even wore eyeliner. It was inspired by Kyah and Kristal (of course it would be) but it's not like I put up a fight. I also did Katherine's hair. (This blog is turning more and more strange) But I was excited because Fiona taught me how to curl/wave hair with a flattening iron. And i think it looked gooood. In the hoooood.
Life is going in major dramatic ways. Ways I fear, ways I am exicted about, ways that seem like such good idea's then wake me up ina cold sweat during the night because they don't seem possible...but they are happening all right.
Oh yeah, I need you help.
I need to raise about 400dollars so I can fly back to ireland within the next week to begin raising support for my full time committment to missions! Please help and contribute, you are not just helping me, but advancing the kingdom of God.
Bless you punks.
p.s wedding pics should be on facebook.
Tony: Kristal, what do think about nuns..?
Kristal: (sniggers..)My first thought was like...they are sexy. But I feel sorry for them sometimes. My dad came to visit nuns when he was in Germany for like a week. Well, maybe it was a day...oh (laughs) I didn't realise how valley girl I sounded...this is why I dont have any friends...I sound just like those dumb girls on the radio yesterday (Disney FM)..and I was totally judging them and God was like don't be judgemental, and I am just like them, God just used you to prove that to me...(in a serious voice) Thanks Tony, for taking me off my high horse.
A new marriage. A new makeup expirement. And a new hairstyle, created by moi for one of my friends. Why should you care? Because. You just should.
So, I'm hoping lots more people are reading this now that I am linked on both Karisse and Kristal's blogspot pages...so here begin yee ole madness blog.
Eivind came and went. Saddness abound.
I got to hang out with my friend Holly from ComedySportz...she rocketh.
Brandon and Leslie finally tied the knot, which was an exciting wedding to be at. For real. The first time i met Leslie was over the phone...in the summer of 2006 at a chilli burger fast food place. Good times. All of their families were here and it was alot of fun having all the people around the base...like old times.
There was dancing, and grooving, and cheesecake - and I even wore eyeliner. It was inspired by Kyah and Kristal (of course it would be) but it's not like I put up a fight. I also did Katherine's hair. (This blog is turning more and more strange) But I was excited because Fiona taught me how to curl/wave hair with a flattening iron. And i think it looked gooood. In the hoooood.
Life is going in major dramatic ways. Ways I fear, ways I am exicted about, ways that seem like such good idea's then wake me up ina cold sweat during the night because they don't seem possible...but they are happening all right.
Oh yeah, I need you help.
I need to raise about 400dollars so I can fly back to ireland within the next week to begin raising support for my full time committment to missions! Please help and contribute, you are not just helping me, but advancing the kingdom of God.
Bless you punks.
p.s wedding pics should be on facebook.
Tony: Kristal, what do think about nuns..?
Kristal: (sniggers..)My first thought was like...they are sexy. But I feel sorry for them sometimes. My dad came to visit nuns when he was in Germany for like a week. Well, maybe it was a day...oh (laughs) I didn't realise how valley girl I sounded...this is why I dont have any friends...I sound just like those dumb girls on the radio yesterday (Disney FM)..and I was totally judging them and God was like don't be judgemental, and I am just like them, God just used you to prove that to me...(in a serious voice) Thanks Tony, for taking me off my high horse.
Dé Máirt, Meitheamh 10, 2008
So...I went through this wardrobe...
So...yesterday I almost went into anaphylactic shock...
I woke up on the base...pretty early...went to base meeting..and saw so many people that I havent seen in so long. I saw Eliza, and nearly died...it's only been two months but i didn't really vet to see her the last time i was here...so we are gonna hang like a hang nail.
There was a bit of a shock later when I walked into the little walkway thing and there stood my norwegian prince. Eivind.
DIED.
So we ended up spending the day being crazy fools. We had some lunch, hung out in the coffee room, went to the dollar store...then to the mall...and all of this was directed by our -on-the-phone GPS system, Katie Colvin.
After Eivy bought some clothes and dragged me around all the shops (what a woman) we got some food and prepared to depart.
Back at the base we put together a cunning plan to go see Narnia. I have seen it twice, but Katie, Annie nor Eivind, who were going with us, hadn't seen it, and I love it so I had no problem going to see it after all.
Which we did, and there were some mixed reviews, which we talked out on the way home...Norwegians!...So...then it was off to beddie byes.
P.S There was a serial killer in the mall...we almost died. He jumped on my back and proceeded to stab me four times, Katie flykicked him off and he landed in the fountain...and he burst into flames. It was scary. But we're ok.
Dé Sathairn, Meitheamh 07, 2008
I have returned.
So I decided...it's about time I got back into the swing of blogging.
I kind of feel out of that swing, but now, after getting my blogging backbrace, or equivalent...blogging cast, or blogging eyepatch, I'm all better and ready to rejoin the world.
Are you there? Let me know.
Well, today has seen me packing like a mad man as I leave for California tomorrow. Indeed.
I thought you were in Virginia?
Well not anymore.
I will be going to california to pursue some wholeness in God. It's what I need, and I'm not ashamed to admit that. I will be in an environment where I can be nutured and loved and where I will be able to see Godly leaders operate. I am very excited about that.
First I am stopping by the YWAM base to say hello to a few friends..which of course I would do.
But lets say, WHATS THE FLIPPIN DEAL WITH NOT BEING ABLE TO CHECK 2 BAGS ANYMORE??
Seriously, I am a missionary people, I can't just go paying willy nilly for bags and overweight and blah blah blah...What a tough situation...please pray that they dont charge me, or that God supernaturally lowers the weight of my bag, or the machine malfunctions...
So..packing. Packity pack pack. Takes so long. I am wrapping up my life here alot sooner than I thought...but in some ways thats good, because I know I am following God and excited to see where this crazy adventure takes me.
Oh boy...
well...here's some pictures of the packing frenzy...firstly..me in the mirror..
my 'worried im not gonna be able to get my bags on the plane' face.
the big bag and all the clothes that didn't fit in it..
my cool old fashioned suitcase
It feels good to be back...
I kind of feel out of that swing, but now, after getting my blogging backbrace, or equivalent...blogging cast, or blogging eyepatch, I'm all better and ready to rejoin the world.
Are you there? Let me know.
Well, today has seen me packing like a mad man as I leave for California tomorrow. Indeed.
I thought you were in Virginia?
Well not anymore.
I will be going to california to pursue some wholeness in God. It's what I need, and I'm not ashamed to admit that. I will be in an environment where I can be nutured and loved and where I will be able to see Godly leaders operate. I am very excited about that.
First I am stopping by the YWAM base to say hello to a few friends..which of course I would do.
But lets say, WHATS THE FLIPPIN DEAL WITH NOT BEING ABLE TO CHECK 2 BAGS ANYMORE??
Seriously, I am a missionary people, I can't just go paying willy nilly for bags and overweight and blah blah blah...What a tough situation...please pray that they dont charge me, or that God supernaturally lowers the weight of my bag, or the machine malfunctions...
So..packing. Packity pack pack. Takes so long. I am wrapping up my life here alot sooner than I thought...but in some ways thats good, because I know I am following God and excited to see where this crazy adventure takes me.
Oh boy...
well...here's some pictures of the packing frenzy...firstly..me in the mirror..
my 'worried im not gonna be able to get my bags on the plane' face.
the big bag and all the clothes that didn't fit in it..
my cool old fashioned suitcase
It feels good to be back...
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