So, I finally have some answers.

Maybe you are wondering why you got an email from me, well, it's because I have to share some news. As most of you know the past few months has seen me take on a new leadership role (twice the work, half the time!), battle mouth problems cause by a viral infection in my gums, head to Afghanistan hiking for hundreds of miles, discover that I have a hole in my heart that is getting bigger and now something new.

Today I visited the doctor in an attempt to see if my heart was getting any better. We discovered something that has proved to be the root of most of the ailments and symptoms I've been showing over the past 5 months since my return to Kyrgyzstan.

On telling my doctor that this week I've been having some problems with clarity and my memory, as well as some emotional episodes, he asked me a few questions. Things I've been doing, activities, status of my mind and then told he thought he knew the cause, and AHA, it all now made sense to him.

He told me that I have Myalgic Encephalopathy, He told me he would be sure I had this if I had

1. Mental and physical exhaustion (unrelieved by rest) with at least four of the following symptoms - -muscle weakness, hyper sensitivity, orthostatic intolerance (sitting in one place, or upright), cognitive dysfunction, digestive disturbances, depression or emotional episodes, poor immune response, cardiac and respiratory problems, impaired memory or concentration, headaches, sore throat, insomnia or unrefreshing sleep.

out of the above list, ONLY 4 would classify me and diagnose me as CFS. I have displayed to my doctor, 10 of the above. TEN.

He then told me, there is no official cause or knowledge on this disease, as well as treatments. However, studies have shown that it can begin from 2 different things, after a viral infection (which I had in my gums) and I will quote 'symptoms will begin to show within a few months of severe adverse stress.' Which somes up this last year for me pretty perfectly. The Viral infection is what effects the brain, and encephalopathy means a brain disorder caused by multiple illnesses.

So what do I do now? Well, it's not all the deal to do with exhaustion, because of that I am experiencing 10 other problems in my body including a hole in the heart. But I am not getting rest, or even sleeping. It' s not that I'm staying up late, or getting up to early, it's that when I do go to bed I can't even sleep. My boss agreed with me that this Afghanistan trip was the real turning point in fully exhausting to me. I don't know where to go from here. I am in talks with my boss to get their advice. I dont want to leave kyrgyzstan, but i could do with a down period, and to really focus on my health for a few months. I don't know. YET.

There are soem treatment possibilities because of the psychological aspects of this disease. Cognitive behavioural therapy, Graded exercise therapy and Pacing. (which is like energy management.) The recovery rates I researched were as follows, 40% of people see an improvement, 5% of people fully recover, and thats 5% of 4 in every 1000 people who have this.

So, I have been reading the book of Daniel recently (you know the guy who gets thrown into the lions den) and I feel like I am relating in different ways. I have been thrown into the den, and Im not too sure what condition I will be in when the king comes to check on me. Will I be mauled and destroyed? Or will the King find me playing with the big cats in complete safety? Either way, without faith, I wont know which. Im hoping the latter. I will keep you all updated. I have a check up in one month to re-evaluate the situation, until then i have some medication for my muscle weakness, for my heart and for my arthritis.

The Lord is so much bigger than me. At least thats a comfort! xx