That place is St James Church in Colorado Springs. I moved here a few months ago to pursue my future, to continue this adventure and for some much needed rest. I was lucky in that time to encounter the beginning and birth of this church. If you could call it that. Church to me has only ever been a place were person after person sang their hearts out and slept through the sermon. Excited for the 'big' worship, but not the Word. Church for me was never about putting others before yourself, it was about putting on your best mask and seeing how could appear more righteous.
My mask came off on the 6th June this year, at the launch of Ted Haggard's new church. No doubt you know this mans' name from the media, famous for some scandal or something or other. Many say because of that, he is no longer qualified to preach or to lead people. Many say he is in denial, and others just say things they don't understand. Others dwell on the fact they think Ted is a hypocrite because they read somewhere he campaigned against gay rights, yet engaged in activity. Is that really the issue? Hypocrisy? The disease the human race cannot escape. We just like to judge because it makes us feel better. Did it make you feel a bit better to think you have never sinned as BAD as Pastor Ted did? I wouldn't doubt you had the thought. Yet the simple fact remains, Ted sinned. Ted confessed. Ted repented. 'As far as the east is from the west, so far have I separated your sin from you.' Yet, God's word doesn't seem to apply here does it - not for many people.
Here is what I understand - if I am a drug addict, I am most likely to be reached by someone who has experience with drugs. The same with alcohol. We can say we don't do this, but we do, we only ever take seriously people who we believe can offer us something through their experience. If I have never smoked and go to a smoker and say, 'Stop smoking, it's bad for you', do you think they will listen to me, or to a smoker of 20 years who says 'Hey, I've been there, it's not easy, but I can help you.' If I could describe a lot of the churches I have been in, all except the one in which I was saved, Taughmonagh, I could liken it to a soundproof room of mirrors, the sound bounces off the walls and all we see is ourselves...and God is sitting up there waiting for our praise, when we are more concerned with having the 'cool' worship, rather that the 'worth' worship.
Ted Haggard has been preaching a message of love. He is not a man that has forgotten his indiscretions, in fact he has drawn on his experience many times over the past 4 services, illustrating the mistakes that led him to sin, and the results. Ted Haggard is not a man seeking fame or power (to all you cynics who think you know better - can you really call Ted, clad in jeans and a t-shirt standing at the front of his old, and somewhat tilted barn - power hungry?) but seeking restoration to the body, which he should have received a LONG time ago - there is a Biblical command to do so.
But no, our Ted Haggard story isn't over until we have ripped a man and his family to shreds. Gayle Haggard, how could she stay? I ask 'How could she not?' As a woman of God, a woman I have gotten to know and admire (and I don't admire people easily!) - she has demonstrated Gods' perfect grace and forgiveness - how DARE she? (that's sarcasm) This is a woman that I have seen stand by her husband and love on him in this transition back to helping people. This is a woman who shows the love of Christ in a practical way that has changed my view on forgiveness and grace.
Ted, do I trust you as the pastor of my new church to help me?
YES. Do you want to know why?
Ted has never been backwards about coming forwards when admitting he is sinner - do I want a humbled, fallen man, who clearly hears the voice of God - who is demonstrating Gods' INCLUSIVE love to tell me how to live my life? Well, it is not HIM doing it - it is GOD. But do I trust him? Yes. Why's that you might ask? Because any man who God can pull from the miry clay and set upon a rock deserves a second chance. And not just a second, but a 3rd and a 4th, just as God does with us.
Ted teaches from the scriptures, draws from his experience, has been strengthen by God and his family through grace, faith, humility, forgiveness. That is a man that I am willing to trust.
Over the course of the last four weeks, there have been eruptions of laughter, clapping and happiness abound in the Big Red Barn on Old Ranch Road, because God has shown up, God has blessed a man who he called to Colorado Springs all those years ago. God WILL finish the work he starts in his children and the Haggards are no exception. The church focuses on ONE, helping ONE person at a time.
I am no doubt humbled continually as I spend time around the Haggards, I am not only humbled, but lucky. Never before have I been able to come as I am and be loved. God is showing me a lot of things. There are things I have done in the last few months, or things you might know about me that would make you think, 'Oh, Tony isn't a christian anymore.' The fact remains, I am. I just happen to be walking through my journey authentically - yet the majority of people left me in this period. To hard to deal with, not my fault, not my place to counsel, to controversial to get involved. And while those thoughts ran through peoples heads I sat alone wondering, where was God in all of this? I've found him now, with the help of St James and the Haggards.
I am doing better than I have before, and I have never been as happy in my whole life.
To keep up with St James, follow us on Facebook (http://tinyurl.com/saintjameschurch), or check out www.tedhaggard.com or come along this Sunday, there could be cotton candy, or snow cones you never know!
